this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
