woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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