Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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