My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize