Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
