are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
