he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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