I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
