You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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