'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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