i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
