We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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