With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
