Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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