i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
