It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Your dad touched me again.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize