surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
