I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
