Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
