I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
