I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
