after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
