This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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