return my video game
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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