if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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