have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
