Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
