Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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