11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
