i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
