as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
