I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
