do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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