he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
