We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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