Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
