Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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