This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
