It's Friday. Sex?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
