oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
