Screwed.edu
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
