I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
