I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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