Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
