maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
