The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
