have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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