i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
