never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
