Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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