are you still at the devil's house?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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