i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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