i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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