I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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