You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
