the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
