The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
