She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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