Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
