the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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