dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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